But ive never been so hurt. ive never been so betrayed…i still just dont believe it…i feel like i was so good to both of you…i never intentionally harmed either of you and you both just went ahead and did the worst thing you possibly could do to a person….I understand making mistakes that may be unkind…but this was just cruel. Of all people he could have cheated on me with….did it have to be the one person i really expected to be with for the rest of my life? did it have to be my best friend? i just dont get it…

All i want is to be happy….and as i struggled with that…instead of having my back…you were stabbing me in it. She was my everything…when things went wrong…shes all i had…through thick and thin..so i thought.

the more i look back the more i realize….how many sacrifices i made for her and how much i did for her…that shed NEVER do for me…but im just realizing that now….I always had her back. no matter what….but her jealousy refused to allow her to be happy for me…it made her refuse to make my life happier. The only reason it lasted so long was because we were so close since we were children. because now that all this has gone down…i finally see the things i never wanted to admit. She was so jealous…she was constantly lying to me and she used me completely….she leached off my life for her own gain and gave NOTHING in return. she made ALL her friends through me. She built herself off of me and hated me for it. She liked me so much it made her hate me.

Its just not fair….because i was the best friend anyone could ever ask for.

and i was a good girlfriend to him too….he just didnt know how to handle the insecurity of thinking i was better then him even though i constantly would remind him i wasnt….but now i realize just how better i really was…..

The part that makes me most mad and is maybe coming from being bitter….is the comparison…that he threw it away for such a down grade….body, face, attitude, IT ALL. I had what he wanted….she didnt. I HAVE A NICE BUTT ALRIGHT! hers is full of cellulite and isnt bigger then her sloppy thighs. IM THINNER. And my boobs are bigger. WTF! such an insult. I was so nice to him. I Bought him thoughtful gifts. payed for dates once in a while too…listened to him…took care of him….i really tried for him. So what could i have possibly done so wrong to deserve that….

he says its from being insecure…but i just cant make the sense in that…..i just dont understand either of them….when i was good to both of them…as a friend and more…..

You people may say im out of line by putting them on blast….but you dont understand. I just dont know what to do with all this pain…i dont know how to handle it or how to make myself feel better…all i want is to be happy….hearing im not wrong here makes me feel better….when i dont have my best friend to turn to anymore when ive been hurt more now then ever before….

I just dont have any idea how to handle it…i dont…so instead of telling me im doing this wrong PLEASE give me another suggestion….ill take any. im desperate….Im physically hurting inside from this….