Just dont ask.

hmm.

Tue, 29 Dec 2009 21:13:22 -0500

i think one of my biggest fear in the world is getting fat.

i been to the gym 5 days in a row for HOURS at a time. all cus i looked at old skinny pics haha and i havent been able to stop obsessing over them. not to mantion my ex keeps telling me how much i NEED to do some cardio. jerk.

i need to stop swimming tho. my face is gonna dry out and it seems that everytime i get out of the pool i have a mysterious cut on me somewhere. i say its ghosts.

i actually took a pic of a ghost in my kitchen the other day!!!

i waaas gonna go to a party today. but i chickened out. i couldnt find a gf to go with me. I cant stand going to partys alone. Especially because people were gonna be drinking there.

i dunno. im more of a homebody anyway. of course i love a good party here and there but to much excitement overwhelms me…which is weird cus i love to stay busy…pretty weird. i usually just really want to do nothing when i get sick of going out to much…..and after yesterday…i am haha

I had just a horrible day yesterday! i went to the movies with someone i CANT stand because of guilt. and he put us on the wrong bus home…which wouldnt have been a big deal if it wasnt the last one running!! i need my license…

im close to getting it tho. im actually a really good driver now. i only need to wait until frebrary to take my test. im sooo excited.

SO. my beautiful big brother is letting me use his computer right now. which is a surprise because he never does. awwwww maybe hes starting to like me haha

"its just like music drifting in the air, invisible but everywhere."

Sun, 27 Dec 2009 04:06:18 -0500

“its just like music drifting in the air, invisible but everywhere.”

little,

Sun, 27 Dec 2009 04:02:00 -0500

You are so stupid. All i wanted was you in my footsteps but now you have fallen off track and are about to hit rock bottom. when will you realize all i wanted to do was help. You could be so much kid. And now you are…this? You are everything ive avoided myself. and why? Because i was blamed for the influence of that side of you. so u were separated. and now the only influence you have left is the negative. and look what its done. i try so hard to be with you but im repelled. but…to tell you the truth,

I don’t miss you, I miss what you were.

so boring

Sun, 27 Dec 2009 00:28:00 -0500

so its the day after christmas….also my first ex(ish)’s birthday. whooo cares. i swam in the rain today and talked to a crazy lady in the locker room…wtf. oh and he woulda said hi to her if he only new her name. at least he knew miiiine. :D

so theres one person. one that stands out the most. But he talks back. and he can be a real DICK. i ~~love~~ it. ive got everything right where i want it. oh except for the fact that i have to wait…..

Its weird how much i want to fall for someone.

It could be. but no. Hes taken! what am i hoping for anyway huh? “You leave em’ how you get em’” duhhh. But still. i like the things he says.

OH AND FOR YOU. to tell you the truth your clingy and im sick of it. Dont call me ~~babe.~~

HAH. in other words, time to start fresh :)

Today i was thinking of who i have in mind. looks like none will work. SO! its time for me to open up a little more. stop reducing my options so that the impossible stays satisfied. thats duuumb.

So my mind is blank and im trying to start clean. maybe just maybe ill fall for something brand spankin new.